I spent my whole summer counseling the counselors, helping those who help others, and accomplished some pretty amazing things. The entire time I spent at camp was a larger puzzle made up of a myriad of smaller ones, where, when solved, everything locked into place and revealed to me the fact that in some ways I don't have limits. (Other people do have limits, a lot with ones that are easier to reach than mine, but that doesn't mean they don't try as hard as they can, and this I can fully understand now.) Without the mental weight of self-imposed limitation, I was able to wake up every morning not knowing what the day would bring but knowing that I could handle it impeccably. I already knew this to some extent, but it was nice to get an affirmation.
Working within the chaos of others, however, isn't going to get me anyplace I want to be. I know now that working under others in such a creative, powerful capacity has an inevitable rushing climax; when I am vital to a system, being susceptible to others' faults and flaws creates a combustion so spectacular that everyone involved can't help but be affected. This particular one was a learning experience for many, even if those above can't grasp the situation at hand. I wish could say that I'm never going to place myself under people who have a final say in my fate, but I don't yet have the tools to do so. (I have a very firm short-term plan now, and am more than capable of going through with it.)
For now, I get to relax and reflect on a road trip, lost in space and time with no itinerary. Cursing myself yet again for not owning a camera.
