In much the same way that remembering something alters the memory itself, looking for equivalencies between a person or relationship situation that is known and external persons/relationships alters the memory structure of the known person or situation. It is a mistake to go looking for similarities in this way; it clouds what is known with information that has no place being associated with the subject in question, yet this method of relating how one relates with other people to how the rest of the world relates with other people is so far-reaching that it's become entrenched in how people get to know each other. Relationships are formed off relations with fake pretenses. Even worse is relating real people and situations to fake ones, or snippets of a perceived person or relationship without knowing the whole story. If all else has fallen away and the truth stands alone, then the person, the relationship is its own microcosm, and cannot be touched. To tie it down with the weight of anything else is a fool's game I refuse to play.
I had the pleasure of listening to someone play their violin for me. They chose Kreisler's Prelude & Allegro, and from the moment bow touched string, that hot feeling like butterflies in my chest rose inside me and nearly made me cry. When he finished the final bars, my cheeks were burning like a shy little girl surprised with a kiss. He entrusted some sheet music to me, stuff I can't imagine being able to play yet, but reading it is slowly becoming easier. I'll be tackling some of this while I'm at camp later next week.
How grateful I am to be strong enough to peel away all of the excesses and stab right into the core of music, let alone everything else. I am able to feel again in my own bright, beautiful way. The writing comes as well, in its own time, and with its own expertly enunciated melody. Another story forthcoming, before the next session of camp starts.
